On the day before Christmas Eve, a man in Minneapolis call to his son who lives in Chicago since a few years back.
He says: “My dear son, I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. ”I’m sick of her face, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her,” and he hangs up.
Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, ”Like hell they’re getting divorced!” She calls their father immediately.
”You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don’t call a lawyer, don’t file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone.
The old man turns to his wife and says, “Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.
★¨`*•♫.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ♫ ..•
BONUS STORY
I found this dirty joke earlier today. I told it to a friend right away, and he laughed so hard that he got a tummy ache. I have to admit that I found it really funny as well.
An elderly wife from Montana had an appointment with her doctor to ask for advice on how to treat her husband’s lack of sex drive.
“Have you tried Viagra?” the doctor asked.
“Not a chance,” the old lady replied, “he doesn’t even take aspirin.”
“Not a problem,” the doctor replied, “just give him some Montana Viagra.”
“What’s Montana Viagra?”
“It’s simple. You discretely put the Viagra into his coffee when he’s not looking. He won’t be able to taste it. Try it out and get back to me in a week and tell me about the results.”
A week later, the old lady called the doctor.
“Oh my lord!” she wailed, “Terrible! Just terrible.”
“Really? What happened?” the doctor replied.
“I did as you told me, I put the pill into the coffee, and the effect was immediate… he flew up from the chair, and his eyes were positively smoldering. With a quick motion he swept all the cups and the tablecloth from the table, ripped my clothes off and took me then and there on the table. It was a nightmare I tell you, a nightmare.”
“Oh, I see, but why was it so bad, shouldn’t this be a good thing?” the doctor asked in a worried tone.
“Oh yes, this was the best thing to happen to me in 25 years! But I can tell you right now, I’ll never be able to show my face in the downtown Starbucks again!”
Did you smile? If you did, then be a pal and share this with your friends!
